she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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