C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize