Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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