sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
