So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
