ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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