Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
