i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
