Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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