After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize