he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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