You can't motorboat a personality
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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