Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
