I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
