You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
