Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Are we still banned from the library?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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