Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize