More tranny stories later!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
