Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
