one two three fourrrrnication!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
