She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Dick very happy bro
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
