I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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