hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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