life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
