I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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