Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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