DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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