I smell stomach acid.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
