yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
