But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
