Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
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