Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
