I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Randomize
