What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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