I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
