i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Dick very happy bro
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
