ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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