We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
