she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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