tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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