I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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