theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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