hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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