she woke up with a sticky ear
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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