I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
