got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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