So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
