Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?

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(256): View more from Alabama

we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident

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(313): View more from Michigan

Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.

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(231): View more from Michigan

I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.

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(305): View more from Florida

Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?

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