I cut my penus on the lid.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
