I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
