Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
