So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It was like getting head from an anaconda
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
