Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
