I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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