everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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