My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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