Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
