i just had sex bonerless
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
