She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
