did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It was a blind-side dick pic.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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