I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
