I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize