and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
